Month 2 of My Recovery – Moving Forward Step by Step

The second month of my recovery has come to an end.

During the first month, most of my attention was focused on everything that had happened and the realisation that my life had changed from one moment to the next. During this second month, something else has slowly begun to emerge.

I’m starting to discover what recovery means to me.

It’s not as though I make noticeable progress every day. Some days are better than others. Sometimes it feels as though I’m taking big steps forward, while on other days I have to take a small step back.

But I’m learning that this is part of recovery too.

Slowly Moving Forward Again

This month, I’ve mainly been working on finding a rhythm again.

Not everything has to happen at once.

Perhaps that’s one of the most important things I’ve learned this month. I don’t have to get everything done in a single day. Sometimes a small step is simply a good step.

My interest in technology and my homelab also help me with this.

It might sound strange, but working with computers, servers, and my network gives me something to work towards. It keeps my mind occupied and gives me the feeling that I can still learn and build things.

Of course, it doesn’t always come easily.

Sometimes I have to think longer about something that used to feel completely natural. Sometimes I have to read something again or repeat a step.

But that is progress too.

I keep trying.

What Remains Difficult

Unfortunately, recovery isn’t just about moving forward.

There are also moments when I notice that my energy is running low or that my brain doesn’t always cooperate in the way I would like.

That can be frustrating.

You know how you used to do something, but suddenly it takes much more effort to achieve the same result. At those times, I have to remind myself that I don’t have to return to the way things were before in order to make progress.

That’s why I’m increasingly trying to focus on the progress I’m making rather than on the things I still find difficult.

Learning to Trust Again

This second month has also taught me that recovery requires patience above all else.

That has never been my strongest point.

I like to know where I stand, and I want to move forward. But recovery cannot be planned completely.

So I’m trying to set small goals.

One thing at a time.

That works better for me than trying to solve everything at once.

Actually, the same principle now applies to my homelab. First, solve one problem, check whether it works, and only then move on to the next.

It sounds simple, but it helps.

What I’ve Learned

Looking back on this second month, I think the most important lesson is that I’m beginning to accept recovery as a process.

Not every day has to be a good day.

A difficult day doesn’t automatically mean I’m going backwards.

And a little progress is still progress.

That might sound like a cliché, but I’m beginning to experience it for myself.

On to Month 3

Two months ago, my world was turned upside down.

Now, I’m slowly working on rebuilding my life.

It happens step by step.

Sometimes literally one step at a time.

I don’t yet know exactly what the coming months will look like. But I do know that I want to keep looking ahead.

Not backwards to exactly how things used to be, but forwards to what is still possible.

On to month 3.